May 2012
26 posts
Tomorrow,
I am going to get a hair cut. This will be the first time since June 2009, as I have an ongoing phobia of hairdressers and their passion for those evil scissors. Nothing too dramatic (of course).
“Okay, fine. But if I’m doing this for you, then I get your Yankees tickets on...”
– Tiny Fey (as Liz Lemon) on 30 Rock (via loladelphia)
I am in dire need of a bath.
Alas, my tub is a shithole. The toilet even overflowed the other day. Good stuff!
Deans list, again baby!
Two semesters in a row. Simple: no social life = excellent grades. I guess that’s the sacrifice. I just wish I didn’t have to operate by this formula.
I put on a dress anytime I feel lame sitting alone at home :) even if I smell bad.
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
April 2012
34 posts
“I really would like to stop working forever–never work again, never do anything...”
– Allen Ginsberg (via light-essence)
2/5
Two of five classes completely finished. Although I anticipate the end of a stressful semester, I tend to feel rather melancholy; I don’t quite understand it. Maybe I’m just severely and overly emotional. Just three more courses to tackle in the next week and a half, with so much work to get done before then. Whenever I feel like giving up, I keep reminding myself of how lucky I am to...
“That is part of the beauty of all literature. You discover that your longings...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald (via light-essence)
Watch
Facebook
sucks.
“If you’re willing to give your life to defend my rights… you can have sex with A...”
– Wil Anderson (on gays serving in the military.)
I don’t know why so many girls settle for jerks when there are so many nice guys out there.
“What did my arms do before they held you?”
– Sylvia Plath
I can’t help it. Sometimes I just hate everyone and everything. Terrible, i know, but it feels so good.